On Being Bitter and Learning to Balance a Checkbook

Do you ever get bitter?? I have a tendency to be bitter from time to time. The cycle is pretty predictable, first comes the self pity, then the superiority complex, (smarter, yes smarter than everyone else) then the bitterness.

I have recently gone through the cycle and now am on the downside. Now I can laugh at the self pity, superiority complex, and get over the bitterness. This last bitter cycle was brought on by my recent relocation. It is not easy to pull up roots, move and adjust to a new (but familar) climate, living quarters, etc.... Everything that was old is new again.

I have also had to make financial adjustments. I was married for 19 years and am now divorced. For most of this time period I was not involved in the finances. I did not have to balance a checkbook. I did not have to deal with finances at all. Period. Things are a tad bit different now. I am having to adjust to not having instant banking online. When I lived in Arizona, the bank I dealt with had a wonderful online web site. I never wrote checks just used my debit card. Every time I used my card I could go home and pull my account up and like magic the transaction was posted on my account. And mercifully, if you had a deposit go in on the same day as a debit, even if the debit came in before the deposit, overdraft charges would not apply.

Sadly things are not the same in my permanent and original home state. My account is periodically a mess. My oldest daughter keeps telling me, MOM just right down your checks and debits in your check book. "Write them down?" I thought to myself. What a antiquated idea. (I of course was in the middle of the superiority stage) Well, I have learned if you don't write the things down, things don't go so smoothly. I am going to have to write the crap down, quit whining and stop thinking the world exists for my convenience.

I have learned when I am feeling sorry for myself..
I do not notice the beauty around me
When I am being superior...
I discount other people's thoughts and feelings and do not learn

When I am being in general DERANGED.....things do not go well