"Gypsy Dentists"

When I lived in Arizona, a few months before I moved, I went to the dentist with a tooth-ache. Dentists seemed to have changed recently. Where they used to just patch me up, now I feel like I am at a used car lot whenever I go to a new one. They want to "give me an estimate" on all the dental work I can have done. When they want to "give you an estimate" it means you have DENTAL INSURANCE. It also seems to mean, they get dollar signs in their eys.

It had been a few years since I had been to the dentist and when they did the xrays, It was discovered that I had two teeth that needed root canals. The tooth that was bothering me was to go first. After the obligatory 2 weeks of anti-biotics, they referred me to an endodontist. They stated that they could not do this root canal at their office.

After getting that root canal, a few weeks later, I called their office about getting the my xrays for the other tooth, so that I could go back to the endodontist for my other root canal. They wanted my fax number to send me my "estimate" for all the dental work they wanted to perform. I politely informed the girl on the phone that I would be moving in the near future and would not need their services. She sounded disapointed. She then informed me that her office could perform the second root canal that I needed done. Surprised, I stated something to the effect that the office had told me you couldn't do the first, she said they could do this one. I didn't really think to question her, I thought maybe this was a less difficult tooth.

I have not blogged for a number of days because I have had a horrible tooth ache. The aching tooth? The second tooth that my dentist "performed the root canal on". Today, I drug myself to the dentist and begged them to give me a shot. I told the dentist that I did not feel there was any hope for this tooth due to a recent root canal. They did the xrays and low and behold, it has not had a root canal. No root canal, what does that mean? Does it mean that the AZ dentist office lied? I had already decided that even if I wasn't moving I would not have used them again. They tried to charge me more than my insurance allowed and they just seemed to be a little too excited about the possibility of my "estimate" of future services.
Did I mention they were FOREIGN. (Please don't be offended if you are reading this from another country, I am not talking about you if you don't lie. And I know the absolute fury one can feel from being stereotyped. I am from the South. And if you are of Gypsy descent, I apologise. I worked with a hilarious student once who happened to be a Gypsy. He seemed to be very honest.) I have noted in my limited experience with these sorts of things, that some people from other cultures seem to "lie" about things. They don't seem to consider it lying or wrong. Or maybe they do, I don't know. I feel ill. I have to go to bed. I wish sometimes I had dentures.

Lysol Lessons

I had a friend who woke up once to find his clean freak mother - about to spray his feet with Lysol. This story is a little like that except there is a teacher involved.

Speaking of teachers, I wonder if it is not too late to sue Mrs. Richardson. (If you are out there, Mrs Richardson, you were a lousy teacher) The evil teacher that spanked me because I showed up to math class in the 4th grade not having memorized the previous nights multiplication tables. And there was that other horrendous Mrs Wood teacher (4th grade was a bad year) that would spank every child in the classroom, by whacking us on the back with her rather large paddle, as we filed out her door because?????? It could not have been because any one misbehaved. Every one was terrified of her. She spanked for such infractions as having your legs in the aisle. She would note the offenders from her desk and then go down the row whacking legs.

I feel harrassed, and humiliated. I think I suffered permanent emotional disfigurement and an acute fear of anything mathematical. Maybe.......

Anyway, I digress, Teacher makes kid spray lysol on himself

Presidents Day: Presidential Trivia

Did you know that 2 of our Presidents owned beer breweries? Or that one President was arrested while in office for running over a woman with a horse? For the answers to these and many other presidential trivia questions, click here.

Anybody Want a Cat?

My mother loved animals. She was not allowed to have pets as a child and had suffered some unamed pet tragedy. There was a sense of comedy in her love because, she was not above chasing a dog or cat thru the room with a broom shrieking because of some offense committed.

When I was small and before we moved to town, there was a dirt road a few miles from our house. Down this road lived a lady who cleaned house for us from time to time. On the way to pick her up, sometimes my mother would spot animals that people had dumped on this road. One time we were with her and she pulled off the side of the road, opened the trunk of our car. She started sobbing and began to round up puppies somebody had dumped.

As a child over the years, we had a diverse assortment of pets. Once we had a pet aligator (he was a baby, thankfully he choked to death on some hamburger meat. I say thankfully, not to be cruel, but what would we have done with a full grown alligator? We had birds, both caged and the wild kind rescued from a cat until it could fly on it's own. We had rabbits, hamsters, turtles, mice, and the usual cats and dogs. (including an old toothless chihuahu that would chase us through the house as we shrieked with glee, trying to gum us. When he died, she wrapped him in my little sisters old baby blanket and buried him as she cried.)

Maybe because of my mother's obsession with animals, or maybe because I am more like my mother's mother, I do not want pets.

I unfortunately at the present time am a "proud owner" of a 30 + pound cat who apparently has a urinary tract infection at the present moment. I could be a UTI or maybe it is stark raving anger at me because I stuck him on the porch last night when he would not stop meowing in the hall. Since them he has peed on the leather couch about 5 times (in one day). The leather couch he is full aware is "off limits".

Where I do not share my mothers fondness for pets, I do have the same running and shrieking through the house with a broom after a peeing feline. I am having serious visions of cat murder. I have visulized hurling him off the balcony of our apartment complex, I have imagined my self sticking in the garbage dumpster and turning the compactor on. I have fantasized about sticking him in a bag with a few good heavy rocks, and placing him in the drainage ditch that is full right now from the recent rains.

So tonight, what do I do? In the spirit of my mother, I went out and purchased a new scratch toy, (the old one thrown away because he had peed on it) and urinary formula cat food (in case there is a problem, and hairball relief treats. I also bathed him, and cut away his hair balls. (he has extremely long thick hair that mats very easily)

My reward? A few minutes ago, at my feet, he promptly puked up a fine assortment of hairballs.

Want to read more about my cat and the struggles we have been thru? Read one of my very first blog posts "The Cat With Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome".

Pass this on to 10 people within 5 minutes and you will be never die, and your children will be beautiful and it will prove you love God .............

I hate chain mail. I appreciate the people who send it to me and know they are well intending. The letters usually start out with some positive, uplifting message. I appreciate that part. What I hate is the invariable end. Send this message within 30 minutes to be blessed or if you care, or love God enough or have faith, send this message to 10 friends.

I got one today and it started out stating "At the end of this story, it gives you two options. I think you will figure out what option I chose."

A nice touching story followed, I will not repeat it because it would be further encouraging the people who START these messages. It ended with:

"You now have 1 of 2 choices. You can either pass this on and
let other people catch the chills like you did, or you can delete
this and act like it didn't touch your heart like it did mine.
IT'S YOUR CALL! "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me."
(Phil.4:13)"

What I hate about these sorts of messages the most is that they insinuate that you don't love God enough if you don't pass them on forever or that you are not a good person if you don't. Plus the obssessive compulsive in me WANTS to pass them on.

What if??? What if I don't pass it on and have 7 years of bad luck? (as in the superstition, if you break a mirror) Sigh.

I always wonder what sort of person would START a chain letter? They are very controlling. They seem to get some sort of weird kick or ego stroking by the thought that people are endlessly forwarding their email. Sometimes I wonder if they are not deranged. Why? Why? Why????????

You'll know your living in 2005 when.......

My friend Sharon in Arizona sent me this in an email. I do not know the source.

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Happy 2005!

Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias

Two of my favorite movies of all time are about strong women in the South. The movies? "Fried Green Tomatoes", and "Steel Magnolias", both released in the late 80's. Comedic dramas about women overcoming adversity, survival, and being a strong person.

A Steel Tomato I am not. I resemble a wilted daisey and had never even tried fried green tomatoes until after I saw the movie. I am not very good at being a Southern woman and do not pick up well on the subtle unspoken social inuendo's. I think that is why I was a little relieved when I moved away from the South. I did not feel like such a failure.

I am back now and struggling again with being "a steel magnolia". Sigh. I am afraid time has not enhanced my Southern skills. But being back in the South has it's wonderful points. The best part is I am once again with my family and my children now have us all in the same region.

I shall accentuate the positives. Since I have been back.....

1. I have lost 15 pounds and am once again my normal weight. (the move was very traumatic, I already needed to lose 7 pounds and I gained more weight right before the move. I kept saying to myself, moving does not make you fat....moving does not make you fat)

2. I have finally landed a decent job (today as a matter-of-fact after 8 loooooong months of temping) which promises to be the best job I have ever had, even better than the one I had in Arizona.

3. I have finally (knock on wood) made a serious decision to quit smoking. I will keep you posted.

4. I am in the same general area as my family, extended and otherwise. I live in the same town as both my grandchildren.

5. I feel better about myself because as weak as my bravery skills are(Daiseys Getting Wilted!!!!), I had the courage to move back and start over. I took a chance and did not choose the easy path.

6. I no longer have to sit around and sing tragically to myself, songs about the South.

7. I am a Cowgirl.....again.

Mold Madness

I have a dear friend who has a relative who has suffered from mold madness. I am not making light of his condition. My mother who was extremely intelligent would go on and on about the evils of mold. My friends relative got more than just a runny nose from this evil growth, he became moldersized.

He has very calmly announced on more than one occasion, that his drinking problem, inability to work and downright odd behaviors in the past have one cause. Mold. He has been moldersized, he states quite firmly. He states this firmly in an attempt to get her to totally de-mold her house so that he can move in. She very firmly runs in the opposite direction.

A new study out there on mold and the effects there-of states that many of the problems blamed on mold are really unrelated to mold sensitivity. Many of the people studied were in fact allergic to their surroundings and did better once removed from them, they did not however, test positive for Stachybotrys, the black mold responisible for toxic mold syndrome. The study suggests that unhealthy dampness not mold may be the culprit for the symptoms ranging from respiratory ailments to achy joints. (notice how they didn't mention deranged behavior)

My question is this, does Stachybotrys cause deranged behavior, an inability to function in a healthy manner and alcoholism? I think this is an important point to establish since mold lawsuits are beginning to pop up everywhere. Soon there will be stories out there like this, Woman states mold caused her to assault her husband. She was molderized. It wasn't HER FAULT she attacked. Maybe mold causes PMS too......

Flowers for Valentines Day?

Ever wondered what meanings are associated with certain flowers? This could be helpful if you are giving or hoping to get flowers for Valentines Day.

Red Roses - Love and desire
Pink Roses - Happiness
White Roses - Charm and innocence
Red and White Roses combined - Unity
Hyacinth - Joy
Geranium -Preference
White Chrysanthemum - Truth
Red Chrysanthemum - I love you
Violet - Faithfulness

Attack Fifi Attack!

Deputy Scott Howden tried to stop Girlamo Marinello after he ran a stop sign. Marinello awarded the deputy by ramming his vehilce into the police car. He then got out and started swinging his 4 pound poodle "Baby" at the deputy. (around and around or side ways or towards him? What? I need a video)

Was he ordering the poodle to attack the deputy (sick him Fifi)? Was he using the poodle as a weapon or projectile? We may never know.

He was found mentally incompetent to stand trial. And FiFi, I mean Baby, she is fine and has been adopted.

Juice Abuse?

My mother was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. She KNEW things. She did not watch a lot of tv. She did read a lot of books. She told me this about juice and babies.......
They are 100 percent sugar," Dr. David Ludwig, an expert on pediatric obesity at Children's Hospital Boston, said recently. "Juice is only minimally better than soda." advertisement

Whooshing From the Bench

Excuse me, your Honor, but your robes are whooshing.

OKLAHOMA CITY - Jurors and others in Judge Donald Thompson's courtroom kept hearing a strange whooshing noise, like a bicycle pump or maybe a blood pressure cuff. During one trial, Thompson seemed so distracted that some jurors thought he was playing a hand-held video game or tying fly-fishing lures behind the bench.

The explanation, investigators say, is even stranger than some imagined: The judge had a habit of masturbating with a penis pump under his robe during trials.

On Being Female

My friend Sharon in Arizona forwarded this to me in an email. I do not know the source.

It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

13. We will never regret piercing our ears.

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems..

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Glade Plug-in Fire

Do you remember hearing Glade plugins could cause fires? How about the man that freed himself from an avalanche by peeing himself out. (sadly, I used that story) Did you see the Tsunamie pictures where crowds appeared to be watching the wave come in with cameras in hand, not running until the last minute? How about that email that claimed Starbucks was refusing to send free coffee to GIs in Iraq? And the ever circulating email about missing child Briana Hennigan, is she still missing?

Snopes.com is a great website that contains facts about these stories, all were erroneous in some way. Briana Hennigan was recovered long ago. The man that peed to melt snow? Though it was a story run by national press, there is no record of the incident or of an avalanche during this time period.

Top 10 Signs Your Boss is Spying on You

I will not, WILL NOT blog about work. I have a friend who sends me emails about co-workers that are hilarious. She shall of course, remain forever nameless. There was the fragmented, disjointed one about how she exchanged her camera phone for a regular one because she was spotted by another co-worker taking a picture of a male co-worker's butt. (I think she was trying to hide the evidence?)
She tells me about the "wars" between the fellow workers. All great and mostly to protect her, un-useable. Sigh.... I can give you, however, this great top ten from David Letterman.

Top 10 Signs Your Boss is Spying on You
1. Wherever you go you're followed by a potted plant in loafers.
2. The bracelet he gave you for Christmas beeps if you leave your cubicle.
3. Office coffee has hint of hazelnut and sodium pentothal.
4. Your name: "Sam." Next to your parking spot: "Reserved for the guy following Sam."
5. Find yourself getting tasered more than with previous bosses.
6. Your new secretary looks a lot like that chick from "Alias."
7. Instead of photos of wife and kids on his desk, he has a photo of you sleeping.
8. When you're alone in the men's room, a voice tells you to quit blocking the lens.
9. Boss critical of typos in your personal e-mails.
10.The fax machine just coughed.