Reader

I have started reading again. I am an avid reader. So much so that there are times when I have to detox from books. Since my test is over and I feel bored, I hit the library.

The library I have been banned from due to overdue books. It always happens. I will be diligent and take the books back and then due diligence will disapear and I am back again with a huge fine.

Yesterday, out of boredom and desperation, I went back to the library with my check book in hand. The fine? $41. I advised the little guy at the desk that I do not just check books out, I lease them. I don't think he was amused.

When I returned later with about 20 books counting mine, my daughters and some for my little grandson, he had a look of fleeting horror on his face. He advised me gravely that next time my fine would probably only be around $100. I ignored his comment. What he does not realize is that we always check out a million books and they make it back until that one time. That one time when I am too lazy or my book thirst has been so satiated that I conveniently over look the pile of books that are not mine. Sigh.

My neighborhood does not have good garage sales. What I used to do is go to garage sales and buy books for .10 or .25. It saved me money in the long run and I did not have to take them back.

This time.....this time I will not get a fine. I will take my books back and be good so I will not be forced to search for books in obscure places and read whatever my scavenger hunt finds.

I Spy

Is Junior getting a little pudgy? Is little Janie not quite so "little" these days. It could be that these "little ones" are smuggling fattening foods to school or horrors of horrors, taking their lunch money and not buying the nutritious meal you have mandated, but sugar coated and fat soaked foods.

What to do, what to do. You beg, plead, whine and moan to no avail. You advise them of the horrors of high cholesterol and the evils of excess carbohydrates. You feel like you have a handle on the situation, but do you really?

A school in Marietta Ga, has a solution. You can now moniter your child's food purchase in the lunch room online. (not a bad idea)
If you send $20 to school with Frank and it is gone in two days? He claims it was stolen, but now you can view exactly what he bought at school.

I predict kids will give money to their skinny friends or friends who do not have hypovigilant parents so that they can purchase the extra food for them. A blackmarket in lunchroom eatables. An entrepreneur could even charge the other kids to buy stuff.

Then of course, schools will have to employ moniters to watch the kids eat or set up a lunchroom moniter situation with peer moniters in little uniforms set up to watch for offenders. You could try to pay the moniters off......

Through with Test

After two weeks of studying and one week of classes for a licensing exam, I am back.

I passed my test. I did not nervous breakdown quite as bad this time. I actually kind of enjoy the whole study for the test process now. I need to go to school. I like it. I can do it as long as it is not Math related. I am horrible at Math.

I am a little old to take time off from life to go to school. Plus, it would be hard to work and go to school full time. I could apply for grant money but what would I live on in the meanwhile? How would I pay the bills while I was at school?

I would love to go though. It would be great. But I would be horribly grouchy and I would always freak out at exam time.

Tidbits

Class this week and then arghhhhh another test.

This was sent to me by a friend, I do not know the source.

THINGS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW (??)

1. Money isn't made out of paper,
it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was
written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne
will bounce up and down continuously from
the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales
of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary
were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor,
who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to
the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine
are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system;
a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing
up into the shark's stomach from underneath,
causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from
Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named
'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when
all original print had to be set in
individual letters, the 'upper case' letters
were stored in the case
on top of the case that stored the smaller,
'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one
hand and draw with the other at the same time ...
hence, multi-tasking was invented.)

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given
out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the
book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded
Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that
rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.
Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go
mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a
Captain Kirk mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes,
and four pennies, you have $1.19.
You also have the largest amount of money
in coins without being able to make change
for a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying
on your back, you can't sink in quicksand
(and you thought this list was completely
useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived
from an old English law,which stated that
you couldn't beat your wife with anything
wider than your thumb
(sign of a true civilized society .. not.)

28. The first product Motorola started to develop
was a record player for automobiles.
At that time, the most known player on the
market was the Victrola, so they called
themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories!
It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery
than the celery has in it to begin with.
It's the same with apples! (Guess what I'm buying
on my next trip to the grocery store?)

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions
will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record
for being the book most often stolen from
Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans
before they go into space because passing
wind in a space suit damages it

English Language

One of those eternal emails floating around. A friend sent me this, I do not know the source.

WHY ENGLISH IS SUCH A HARD LANGUAGE


Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert before dessert, in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it!
was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) A buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress who was a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22) Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?

23) They were too close to the door to close it.

Home again

I was out of town for a couple of days. So good to be back home. I realized that I do not relax enough. I do not take the time to have fun and lighten up.

It has been pretty heavy, moving back "home" after being away almost 20 years. It is strange too, because my parents have both passed away. They are not here. I have been coping with their deaths for really the first time. My mother died in 2001, the same month that my divorce became final. I had only been back once after that.

It is time to move on and "live" again. I am trying.

The "Good Old Days"

A friend emailed me this. I do not know the source.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.


We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms ...... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!


You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good .... and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Runaway Bride Run Amuck?

Remember the Runaway Bride? Since her "recovery from captivity" some interesting facts have come out about her. This was not her first alter avoidance. She didn't show for a previous marriage ceremony as well.
She also has been arrested for shoplifting three times. There has been some speculation by mental health experts that she could be have a borderline personality disorder, which means she would be extremely unstable in her relationships and would often do things to draw attention to herself

Hmmm. You would think her family would have had an insight into her character to not plan a lavish wedding with 600 guests.

Want to know what Jennifer Wilbanks aka The Runaway Bride's home town thinks of her activities?
The Smoking Gun has a link to letters from her home state. They are hilarious.

Cat Update

When we got rid of Brink the cat, he went to one of those organizations of cat lovers that find foster homes for needy cats until they can be adopted. I have an update.
Brink has been adopted. He has a permanent home. The say he is "sweet". Cough...Cough.... They of course think we are horrible because there were a few lingering hair balls....sigh.

I am not surprised. He is an absolutely beautiful cat with etremely long hair and he is the largest cat I have ever seen. This made him unusual.

I am happy for him. His new home, on the other hand, well, they have a few surprises coming.

Oh and P.S. The baby has had a rash for a few months now. We knew it could be cat related but were hoping for the best. His rash has dramatically improved:)

I Don't Know If I'm Happy, I Don't Know If I'm Sad.....

The cat is officially gone. I called and left a message to check up on him. I know he will be happier.

Tonight, when I was cleaning the kitchen, I felt a surge of hope. I felt that for once, I could clean without thinking defeatest thoughts about how it would just get messed up again. (A totally irrational thought since the cat never messed up the kitchen, just deposited hair on everything) I do know I can vacuum the layer of cat hair off the carpet and it will not re-deposit itself within hours.

He was going to a great place. I know he will be better cared for. I still miss his most horrible presense.

It is time to move on. The baby will be crawling soon and I won't have to worry about him crawling in a fur lined jungle.

What then shall we eat?

This was emailed to me by a friend....I do not know the source.

Can't eat Beef, Mad cow

Can't eat chicken . bird flu

Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella

Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect piggies

Can't eat fish ... heavy metals in the
waters has poisoned their meat

Can't eat fruits and veggies .. insecticides and herbicides
Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M
M
M
M
M

I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!



Chocolate is a Vegetable
**
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.

Bean = vegetable.
**
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
**

Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
**
**To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
**

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
**

Remember - - -

"STRESSED" spelled backward is "DESSERTS"


Send this to four people and you will lose 2 pounds.

Send this to everyone you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.

(If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.)

"That's why I had to pass this on - - - - - I didn't want to risk it."

Turn the Page

The next 7 days will be a benchmark in the lives of 3 of my children. One will be graduating from college, the other from highschool. My youngest child will be turning 16.

It will also be a new chapter for me and the cat. As of tomorrow, I will be cat-less and the cat will be me-less. I think he will be better off. I am sad. Me and that cat have gone thru alot.

Was it the "treasures" he had been depositing on my carpet the final straw that broke the camels back? Was it the endless nights spent trying to go back to sleep after being awakened by His Hideousness at 3am? No, none of the above.

When the baby was about 2 months old, he was sitting in his swing, innocently swinging away thinking baby thoughts when the cat grabbed his arm (breaking the skin) with his teeth and scratched his face. That is horrible, you might think. Why did you put up with that, you might think. I wanted to give the cat the benefit of the doubt. He was adjusting to the baby and he would be fine. 2 days ago, the cat repeated the exact same behavior. Grabbed the baby's arm in his mouth (leaving teeth marks where he broke the skin) and scratched his face. (leaving scratch marks all down his cheek) The baby is now 5 months old. The cat has had all the time he is going to get.

The cat is history.

I am sad. I feel like a failure as a pet owner. I will miss His Hideousness. I am sure he will miss us. He is going to a good place though. He deserves to be with a cat lover.

I deserve to get a good nights sleep in a hairless environment. (Have I mentioned, due to his long hair that clings to every surface and crevice of the apartment and floats in the air, that I live in a virtual HAIR BALL)

What will I talk about?????

Tearing up the Computer

Have you ever gone thru your computer and just deleted things? I know better. I have torn up a computer in my time. I was so notorious for my computer snafoos, the last new computer my exhusband I bought before the divorce was largely off limits to me. I was forbidden to download anything or delete anything the prevailing wisdom in our household was that it might would be better if I just did not touch the computer much.

I thought I had learned what NOT to do. Tonight I decided to go into my documents file and get rid of some old things just hanging around in there. (I was avoiding studying, I am getting tired of the whole study thing) Apparently some of those odd program looking things in my documents folder were necessary (WHY WERE THEY IN THE DOCUMENTS FOLDER?????) I crashed my computer and almost tore it up. (all in an attempt to not read a stupid boring book) It had to revert to an old saved registry from who knows when that had bits and pieces of old software no longer usable. That almost crashed my computer again.

I thought I had learned. I guess not.